


no matter how many times the sun sets

by mother_hearted



Series: Setting Sun [1]
Category: Fate/EXTRA
Genre: Character Study, F/F, F/M, Genderfluid Character, M/M, Mana Transfer, Multi, Polyamorous Character, Soul Bond, Spoilers, Threesome - F/M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-27
Updated: 2019-06-27
Packaged: 2020-05-20 19:23:43
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 12,432
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19383178
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mother_hearted/pseuds/mother_hearted
Summary: In the floors of endless space and sea, deep in the crystalline static of the moon, Hakuno chisels the first crack into the cold shell of Saber's heart.(iddy iddy bang bang 2018.)





	no matter how many times the sun sets

_\--I have to stand up._

The thought leaks through sharp like a staccato note.

_It's okay if I'm scared._

The words punch through the dark theater that comprises her soul, through the line that separates her from a concept and a reality.

_It's okay if I'm in pain._

Pitifully, the words cry out. 

In their pity, they can only be human.

_I have to rise above all of that!_

And it's that final proclamation that sweeps her off her feet and off her stage. For once she is in the audience roaring with applause to celebrate humanity’s spirit and might, the stubborn who strive to survive no matter how many times they fall. Their fear is beautiful because they choose to fight. Their pain is beautiful because they choose to bear it.

As the greatest admirer of beauty, she must respond to it.

She whips open the curtain, no longer waiting for it to be drawn up, no longer waiting for her name to be called.

In a bright blinding light,

she descends.

 

_Answer me._

_Are you my Master?_

 

Saber's Master is...

"I don't remember." 

The girl’s voice too quiet, she lacks not air in her lungs but thoughts in her head. How plain. From her face to her clothes, her style is nondescript. Her voice lacks the timber of a warrior and she isn't particularly inspiring as a Magus. There's a thought this girl isn't the one Saber extended her hand to but Saber's resolute belief in herself sweeps aside the idea before it can even finish forming. Charmed by her passionate call with notes so emotional they made Saber’s very soul sing; this girl may be ordinary but she commanded Saber in battle, bound them together with magic and blood.

Simply put, Saber can't back out. 

She can't be wrong.

"Praetor."

"Huh?"

Saber smiles with a straightening of her back and holds her chin high. Despite her short stature, her presence fills the room like beams of sun spilling out through parted clouds.

"Didn't I just tell you? You have summoned a Saber-class Servant, the strongest Servant, the best Servant! As your sword and shield, you could have no better! It's only natural to feel proud, go on, radiate your pride and gratitude, let it shine out of your spirit and unleash your confidence on this War."

Despite Saber's rousing words, her new-found Master is only able to blink slowly in confusion before giving a jerky bow. Even her hair falls past her shoulders in uninspiring waves.

Ah.

"Although we've only just met, I hope you depend on me well." Her Master delivers her words towards her brown loafers. It’s only through their bond Saber hears her at all. 

Her Master is not timid, nor is she shy. She's simply quiet, a girl with too much space to breathe. Saber senses her Master’s beating heart, how her mana nourishes her circuits, but she can't explain the absence of self, the missing muchness of a girl that isn't altogether there.

Peculiar.

And yet she seeks to rip responsibility from Saber's hands.

Don't make her laugh.

"Hakuno Kishinami, you are but a newborn in this fantastical War. It is your fortune to depend on me!" Saber props her hands on her hips and points with her right hand sharply when Hakuno looks back up at her. "I know humbleness is a part of your culture and so I will overlook your misguided intentions."

"That's..." Her words trail off but her face says, _Seriously? Why am I being scolded?_

"I respect our contract. But it is more beneficial for us to work towards a partnership of equals. Don't you agree?"

Relief visibly shows on her Master's sloped shoulders. Good. An ordinary girl capable of clawing at the deepest parts of herself - Saber wants to see her again. Would only ever see her again at her best, not while trying to carry a Servant whose True Name she didn't even know.

 

Saber's favor could be won, it was true. She was easy in that way; summoning rains of riches down on those with open hands, crafting beautiful serenades for open ears, building theaters and coliseums to provide lifelong entertainment to the ever-growing masses.

Her favor was plenty like the fine wine and meat she ate, like the baths she soaked in, like the endearments she threw out for anyone to snap up.

Her favor was not her heart.

It is only now in this second life she can look back on her dead life and know the hearts of the people had slipped from her grasp because her heart was closed off from the start.

In the floors of endless space and sea, deep in the crystalline static of the moon, Hakuno chisels the first crack into the cold shell of Saber's heart.

 

"I'll shock it!" Hakuno shouts, bracing herself with planted feet when she code casts. The enemy crackles with electricity, one hoof left hovering above the floor. Saber slides in to take the first strike. A metallic screech fills the area when Saber's crimson blade makes contact but the bull breaks free all too soon, charges forward to stomp her into the floor. No desire to impersonate a stump in the ground, Saber jumps away unrooted and adjusts her stance.

"Praetor! It is bigger than the others but that is no bother, it means we've finally entered the first Act!" The Prologue is over and Saber radiates excitement in the face of a new challenge. "Command me!"

Saber dances around the platform, dodging sweep after sweep of horns. After another tango with the digital beast Saber shouts, "What do you see?!"

Hakuno stands behind her, eyes darting around steadily but anxiously. The enemy is new, its behaviors are new, but the arena cannot be researched by book, only in these moments, all to grab the keys to qualify for their Elimination Battle.

"You're fast, Saber! If it wants to hit you so bad, let it try!"

Guarding it is! Saber leads the bull in close when she braces to knock it off its hooves. Instead its cubed head whips back, horns knocking her blade aside with a force that breaks Saber's guard. A horn catches her left shoulder, goring her flesh before she can shake it off. Blood streams down her arm, staining her lacy sleeve, painting her knuckles red.

Hakuno sucks in a harsh breath behind her.

Saber grips her sword tightly in her right hand and prepares to meet its next blow head on. Aestus Estus lands, blade cutting through digital matter even as the bull's backside swings wildly towards her, bludgeoning her hip and rib cage. Her bones rattle, blood scrawles itself on the floor below them, but still, she does not back down.

Turning back is dangerous. To her pride. Her spine. Her fragile Master who is not a tactician but brilliant when she finally yells, "I see it! I see it! Charge and guard, let it become wild and cornered and then break it down!"

Saber leads with a loud laugh, her blood flying through the air like celebratory confetti and rose petals from the force of her movements, and her great speed pins the beast back. It guards with its head low but Saber strikes last, with a great jump she cuts through its neck, and then it's nothing but dark smoke, disappearing into the sea of the arena that birthed it.

Hakuno runs to meet her in the middle of the platform.

"It's still running." Her Master shakes her head in worry at Saber's wound, her hands quickly moving through her pack of materials but it’s her trembling hands that catch Saber's eye. 

Saber chides her.

"Praetor, you may carry on calmly."

"You're still hurt!"

"Only my shoulder, not my pride. There is no shame and permitting the circumstances, blood is fine to wear."

"Could that be..."

Saber does not wait patiently as Hakuno pulls out a healing shard.

"What?"

"You wear red so bloodstains don't show up?"

"What?!" Saber flings her clean arm out. "Red is a noble color, the only color suitable for my passion! Umu, that you would think I would do something so tacky--" Scandalized, Saber prepares to unleash a verbose storm containing said passion but is drowned out by glitter after glitter of shards cascading into healing rain over her head.

Well played, Praetor.

Well played.

 

"How pitiful. This will accomplish nothing," Saber finally says, admiring her filed her nails for the second time. The toes of her heels tap Hakuno's leg under the library table. Her Master lifts her head off the table top with a glum expression. What a dull face. Saber goes on to say as much.

"I don't remember if I was good at studying... but I'm guessing I'm not." She rubs her eyes. In the arena, a glitter had started to form in them. A shining speckle that complimented Saber's soul beautifully. An echo of the girl who cried out so passionately Saber could have never ignored her.

"Whether you excel or not, as long as you can, you must." Despite being the emperor of excess, Saber speaks firmly. True, she was known to indulge in whims of many kinds (whimsy was to art as art was to her livelihood) but Hakuno is presenting no such thing. So Saber will not indulge her. "The ambush revealed his Servant is most likely Rider. Your fellow competitors have not been shy in exposing the dregs of his personality, so all that remains is the name of his Servant to tie the final noose around his neck."

Hakuno flinches at her words.

"Saber."

"We are at War." She _hmphs._ "I have told you much of myself these past six days. Surely you have picked up on my magnificent character, I love to entertain but I will not coddle you."

Saber rises from her seat.

"Come, you will search the rest of the section."

Back in the stacks devoid of NPCs Hakuno sighs while reaching for another book.

"I'm learning to take this War as seriously as I can... but if I'm going to do my best, isn't it strange? You won't tell me your name."

Nero disperses into a scatter of spiritrons behind her, hidden but able to be heard by her Master.

"I told you before, Praetor. Think of how crucial it is that we learn our enemy's True Name. The difference between certain defeat and decisive victory, this name can change your fate in the blink of an eye. It's the same for your enemy. That little rat would do anything to crush you."

"So it's safer for the both of us if I don't know who you are?"

"My strategy is sound."

Hakuno flips determinedly through an index and slides the book back into its proper place. Her voice is quiet, with a hidden note of longing that Saber refuses to let affect her.

"A newbie Magus you trust to become an amazing Magus?"

"I expect you to become grand."

Hakuno doesn't argue with her. Saber doesn't encourage it. More than once in the Library Hakuno's eye wanders towards other bookcases. As if she will be able to find out about her own Servant. Saber has no worries. She'd revealed her two spirited nature but she'd said nothing else to distinguish herself. It's unlikely there are any texts that mention her true self. It was not common knowledge then, she has faith no historian has written it down.

She's snapped out of her musings when Hakuno shoves a book into its shelf and takes off to the next aisle.

 _I've got it!!_ her face screams and Saber spirit lights up like a lantern.

Hope erupts into fury when they round the bookcase only to find Shinji Matou booking it out of the library, clutching a hard copy in his arms.

"That son of a bitch!"

They give chase one last time.

 

El Draque falls at the bottom of the sea.

It’s the only fitting ending. 

 

In the empty classroom, Hakuno does not sob or make a scene. Saber watches her come to terms with her new reality. She has achieved victory and taken her first life. She has killed not only her classmate, but a child. She stands silent, elegant in her simplicity with her arms at her sides, tears in her eyes, delicate tear tracks forming down her cheeks. In this moment of weakness, she does not hide from Saber. She lays her soul bare and Saber is helpless not to respond.

"I like those who are kind. There is no beauty in your tears, but they move me nonetheless."

Hakuno breathes in an ugly rasp of a cry.

"Now you truly know the gravity of this War, don't you?"

"Yes." Hakuno croaks out and it hangs between them, her responsibility, her commitment, her will to see this war through, it waits to be plucked out of the air but Hakuno doesn’t take it back. 

In this silent moment, she is a girl to be adored.

Saber feels a stirring in her heart, the first pop of kindling threatening to start a fire, and she pushes it far, far away.

 

Beyond bloodlines, there was nothing familial about her family. They merely provided a lineage to the empire’s throne. A home nourished by deceit and poison, Saber might as well have gone back in time with the newfound betrayal that runs in her veins.As Master and Servant, they should have been preparing to face the elderly knight by taking advantage of his lackluster relationship with his Servant. Instead, Saber was forced to follow Hakuno down a hallway cluttered with clawing red static only for its source revealed in an abandoned room, glitching out beyond repair.

It wasn’t the only thing they found abandoned.

"Praetor! This slight will not go unannounced!"

Hakuno attempts to soothe Saber but it’s too late, Saber’s fury hot on her face.

"Do you value my service so little? Have we not bonded in our time together? Umu, how could you waste a command seal on some errant ghost in the system!" Saber points hotly at the "ghost" in question, the damningly tall Archer clad in red that stands between them. His brow is furrowed and his mouth is fixed in a permanent scowl. "What exactly are you going to do with him, keep him as a pet? Entertainment? This schoolhouse is a neutral zone but you cannot take two servants into the Arena, nor would I ever acquiesce to such a thing."

"I have no plans to infiltrate any part of your relationship with your Master," Archer interjects, saving Hakuno from Saber's continuing wrath. "While I didn't ask to be... recruited,” Saber's arms crossed with a huff. "As a Servant, I will follow your commands. But Saber is correct, your options are highly limited." He snorts and Hakuno winces. "You really are something, Master. Even experienced Magi wouldn't take such a risky chance."

"Your rescue was born from pity and nothing else!”

“Listen!” Hakuno finally manages to break through the two servants and puts her hands up. 

She faces Archer first. Her normally blank expression is filled with a firm determination, almost like she's facing down an enemy in the arena, deciding what turn to take. It's a lovely expression that gives Saber pause. “It's true, I'm inexperienced and didn't consider the consequences of my actions. But I didn't help you out of pity. I can't explain _why_ exactly but... Watching you fade back and forth between existing and... not. And you weren't my enemy, so." Hakuno finishes clumsily. "I'll take responsibility Archer, and maybe we can figure out what happened to you in the first place."

The steel in Archer's tone slightly curbs when he responds. "That's already in the past. And I wouldn't worry about me when you have plenty on your plate as it is."

Saber glares at him before Hakuno can redirect her attention (where it belongs in the first place).

"Saber." Hakuno bows at her waist. "I want to continue to become a stronger Master for you, I want to keep learning how to command you in battle so that you always shine." _Please forgive me,_ her soul pleads and Saber, shielded behind her crossed arms, finally lets out a put-upon sigh.

"As long as you remember I am your star in this War I will permit your thoughtless actions."

Hakuno's head pops up, "Really?" _It's that easy?_

"Haha! I've always said, you have only one life to live so live selfishly! With excess! You made a decision from your heart and acted on it, so I can only respect it."

"Even though it made you mad?"

"That is another matter entirely, they're two completely different things. Hmm, but we shall put an end to this conversation here and now. It is still morning, you should run off to the commissary before anything else. I want you to spend our winnings lavishly!" And with that Saber plops down comfortably on her makeshift throne.

Hakuno leaves shortly after debating the merits between two mystic codes, unwilling to follow Saber's advice of, "Get both!"

Saber eyes Archer before waving a hand.

"Well. Welcome. It is a meager estate but it is mine. Feel free to sit before you plant roots into the floor."

"No, I planned on becoming the new support beam for the room." Archer's voice drips with sarcasm. His guard is still up, which is wise. They've only just met, shared Master or not.

"The charge of my mana is coming from your circuits. Why?" He asks after a tense moment.

"Ho? You've seen our Master." Saber says, already over her outburst. "She's still learning and she doesn't know she's supplying my circuits this very second. For a seasoned Magus, the strain of two Servants is dangerous enough. It was too much trouble to explain so I did what I wanted."

"To spare you both."

"Yes." Saber answers easily and chuckles to herself when the cloud of gloom over Archer doesn't abate. "Are you worried about providing for me in the future? Umu! Do not. I shall guide you if the time comes." She laughs again as Archer turns his head in disbelief.

"A transfer is the last thing I'm worried about." He crosses his arms expectantly. "Why don't you tell me more about this Dan character so I don't die of boredom?"

 

Under his barbed tongue, he's a loyal-type servant. Nero is pleased in his scouting abilities and her Master readily eats up the information he acquires from the school grounds. Amusingly enough he seems intent on keeping himself as far away from Saber's relationship with her Master as possible.

Really, there's just one problem.

Saber warps back into Hakuno's room, looking forward to a moment's peace when she encounters the corner of clutter and junk. Amidst the mess, Archer sits like a pauper pretending to be a king.

"Awa, I know, your true class isn't Archer but Jester right?"

Archer clicks his tongue and Saber smirks, her brows raised high.

"These were my previous accommodations." His tone clearly reading, _Deal with it or die._

"No need to explain." She laughs settling into her Throne. "Your cool facade hasn't breached my territory and so I don't mind."

"Are you a child? Do I need to draw a line through the room?"

Saber doesn't pay his comment any mind. She wants to rest. The poison that temporarily drained her Master had a similar effect on Saber. They'd deal with it and the rogue Servant behind it. That knight and Servant... Their disharmony will be their weakness.

Hakuno is getting bolder. Stronger. Saber's pride stirs beside her exhaustion.

"Archer." She calls as an afterthought. “Who was your Master?”

Archer doesn't answer. Saber's almost drifted off when he says,

"Another non-descript Magus. There's no helping it."

Her eyelids droop shut.

 _I've already failed,_ Archer doesn't say but Saber hears, their connection ringing in her soul, the echoes of an emotion strong enough to permeate the cells of her blood.

Oh. 

So it could happen between Servants too.

Saber hears a scoff, feels a familiar prick of agitation in her spine, and then she's drifting off to sleep, soothed by the darkness of her eyelids.

 

Flames lick the air. Heat rolls like waves through the streets. In the fiery commotion, Saber sees buildings desecrated, civilization melted down to its barest working frame and then that’s gone too.

Her confusion is her own but her devastation is not, worn secondhand like a pair of mittens, she searches for its owner, turns to face every corner.

There's no human life left.

This world was abandoned a long time ago.

She looks up into the grey pit of clouds and suddenly she's seeing a yolk-colored sun setting in the bleeding pink sky, and cold soil whips up from the wind into her face.

In front of her is the body of an Emperor, his throat red.

Saber's mouth opens but no words come out.

Her throat scratches dry like the desert sand.

 

"The chest should be in the northwest corner." Archer's voice crackles through the static of their communications system. "That's as detailed as I can get, the rest is up to you."

"Thanks, Archer." Hakuno trots along behind Saber who leads a vigorous charge down the walkway.

Saber believes in well-timed alliances, and if Rani believes her Master was harmless enough to assist, so be it. It meant they had a proper communications channel to take advantage of Archer's eyes and ears in the school, much more efficient than ferrying information back and forth from the arena to her Master's room.

"The programs will respawn soon," Saber says. The aquatic coliseum that is the arena's backdrop has grown dull. While quaint at first, it now has Saber yearning for the architecture of her own time. She yearns for many things, really: a fine bearskin rug, a bath large enough to fill an emperor's chamber. "We already have the second key, let's milk more materials from our enemies, Praetor."

"You said you were close to remembering something at the Chapel, right?" Hakuno asks eagerly, that lovely twinkle that belongs to the stars in her eyes and Saber twists and twirls in front of her. Preening comes naturally, free-hand to her chest, Saber declares her brilliance will shine even brighter when she feels the nick in the air, her only warning before an arrow sails with deadly precision at her Master.

Saber's blade misses but not her body, the arrowhead cuts her dress and flesh as if they're one. Sunken into her chest, its poison pumps out. Unlike the tree that spewed miasma secondhand into the environment, it's filtered directly into her body. Servant grade toxin. Saber's blood boils. A migraine blooms and pulses in the front of her temples.

The pain is old like a scar but sharp like a refurbished blade.

It's been a long time since she felt like throwing up.

Hakuno immediately tries to code cast but the moment Saber's vitality is restored the poison surges, thickening and congealing around the tissues of her muscles and organs.

"Saber! You're getting paler?!" Hakuno flushes with worry and Saber is overcome with too many feelings all at once: her Master's concern and fear, her bruised pride and rising sickness. An insistent feeling that hisses _to the right to the right_ prompts Saber to grab her Master's wrist, run them as fast as she can, teeth clenched to ward off the bile threatening to squeeze out from her throat.

The exit glows in front of them but they can't leave.

"The arrow," Hakuno reaches for Saber. "What happens if you leave with it?"

Saber opens her mouth and promptly vomits, bile streams through her fingers when she tries to cover her mouth. _Don't look at me!_ she screams in her soul but her Master presses after giving her a second to breathe. “We need to get it out!"

The body of the arrow rides the rapid rise and fall of her chest, and Nero forces through her clogged burning throat what little words she can.

"Push it through."

"Me?"

In seconds, Saber's arms lie lifeless by her sides.

"There's no other choice."

Her thigh spasms from the force she exerts to keep on her feet.

 _You can't be squeamish, Praetor!_ but she isn't and Saber watches with blurry vision as Hakuno's hand grips the body of the arrow without a tremor. Her starry-eyed girl returns. Hakuno barely pushes before the slim body of the arrow breaks off clean, leaving the arrowhead lost in her chest cavity.

Hakuno pales.

Saber blacks out.

 

Someone's sobbing wakes her up. A phantom cry that doesn't belong on this plane, only existing in the theater of her soul. Saber wakes up with Hakuno frantically following Archer's orders. On her table cleared of its red fabric, Archer's steel gray eyes stare her down.

With a wheeze, she asks why the arrowhead is still lodged in her chest.

"You'll be fine," Archer says dryly.

"Archer!" Hakuno scolds.

"...It's all right, Master. That Archer's poison doesn't have any effect anymore. It's completely out of her system."

"And you can still help, right?"

"It's between her organs."

Hakuno's agitation positively tickles Saber's insides, making her laugh weakly despite the ache.

"Yes," Archer continues, brow pinched tight. "Somehow, I'm oddly prepared for this extremely specific circumstance."

"Huh?"

"Why don't you go to the library and find out what you can about the Yew Bow. This time of night only the NPCs will bother you."

Hakuno looks from Archer to Saber, unwilling to leave without her blessing.

Saber smiles, forcing radiance from her cracked lips.

"Your sword will shine no matter how many times the sun sets. I will be fine by tonight, Praetor."

A warm glow sits curiously in her stomach when Hakuno slowly smiles at her. "Let's do our best."

And then she's gone.

Archer sighs above her. He sighs so much Saber can categorize it. This one says, _I chose this._

The poison may no longer be active in her system but it’s done its damage. Saber can hardly move, her joints frozen, her muscles fatigued.

"Hurry and attend to me, Archer."

Saber wastes no time, dress willed off her body, her top follows and she's left in her white leggings. Archer kneels down in front of her with his hand going to her right pec, fingertips resting on the flesh just above her breast where the arrowhead had trapped itself.

"Your selfishness came through in the end."

Saber doesn't laugh. Her hair is a mess. Her skin lacks color. The poison has aged her. She truly looks her worst (because she lost because the enemy made her a fool in front of her Master).

"Didn't I tell you to hurry up. I've already accepted you."

Archer's face doesn't lose its seriousness but when he felt miles away in her soul before, suddenly he's _there_ , his circuits synced with hers, her body accepting him as herself. His mana intermingles with her own and she recognizes his magical signature. With great pain she opens the membranes of her cells to him, allows his fingers to push through like a specter to retrieve the arrowhead from her chest.

"I've got you," he whispers. So low she can't tell if she hears him in her soul or her ears. On the inside, she sobs in relief.

With a sickeningly slick pull, the offending arrow piece comes out covered in blood and lymph. Saber pants. It's like there isn't enough air. Archer drops the arrowhead and nods to himself when he materializes a small knife, slices the inside of his palm without a wince.

"I'll flush you out."

Saber doesn't have a chance to speak. His palm burns when he mixes his blood with her wound. Heat in her chest threatening to scorch her, once it reaches her circuits it cools, rejuvenating, and her recovery begins. First it’s the air in her muscles. Then the oils in her skin. The sheen in her hair. The mana that sprinkles through her blood cells like seeds. By the end, her body has repaired itself, stable from her Master's regulated mana and Archer's administered mana.

There's a tired curl to Archer's lips, a droop of his eyes when he pulls his hand back. Saber beams up at him,

"Umu, I could dance an entire stage production!"

"Hasn't our Master lived through enough terror today?"

He waves his hand away, _what am I supposed to do with you?_

"It's because you lack enrichment that you can't appreciate the arts."

"You and I have very different opinions on the arts…” Archer trails off when Saber grabs her head. "There's still something?"

He can't quite hide the worry in his voice.

"My headache."

"...I've never heard of spirits having headaches."

"Mmm. This is a product from my first life." Saber sits up slowly but makes no move to get off the table. She folds in her legs instead. "My mother tried to poison me as a boy."

Rather than say anything directly, he mumbled under his breath, "Is this a running trend of the Saber class...?"

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"Nothing." Archer stands to his full height when Saber grabs his wrists. "What?" With too little ease she pulls him down beside her. He scowls. "Would you spit it out?"

"There's a way to get rid of headaches. You know of it, right?"

Archer is incredulous(ly annoyed).

"I'll leave you to it."

"Oh, come on! Don't you want to touch them?" She obnoxiously dances with her shoulders to swing her bust. "They're soft! Very lovely."

Archer's eyes betray him when he finally glances down and looks intentionally at her breasts.

"With your lack of shame, I can tell you were born a man."

Saber huffs. "Man and woman, I have always been both. My form merely changed. Though I am a short woman, I am just as powerful as a tall man."

Archer smirks, "Then I don't know what you need me for."

Saber tucks her face into his neck.

He freezes.

"Saber."

"Just touch me a little. You're not so weak you can't push me away so why are you still sitting here?"

Archer's silence betrays him all over again.

Saber waits, her grip weak around his wrists.

He cracks. "What do you want me to do?"

"Just touch my chest. I don't want to think about anything else."

"...about the battle?"

"No, you fool!" Saber bursts, pulling back and furious like a bomb exploding. "Praetor saw the most hideous side of me and I hate it! I don't want to think about it! I'll kill that bastard for that insult alone!"

Saber, in her heart of hearts, expects Archer to call her vain, shallow, too prideful and weak. Instead, his hand brushes through her bangs.

"Don't lose your elimination battle."

"...I'm almost disappointed."

"Oh? Did you _want_ me to be a bastard?" And then he's got his hands on Saber's breasts. He’s so smooth about it Saber's brain is nothing but warm fuzz before she falls, swerving into his side.

"Awa, I take it back. You're great." Her nose smooshes into his warm, solid neck.

He snorts. His thumb follows the line of her areola on one breast, the other stroking the underside of her breast where the skin is most sensitive.

"I'm not getting you off." He says it pointedly but his hands are warm and firm and just big enough her nipples pebble stiffly in his palms. Each light scratch of skin against them makes her a little wetter.

She hums in pleasure. Her own hands sneak up to feel his chest. He shivers and calls her out.

"What're you doing?"

"Returning the favor!"

His pecs are so big. Saber's in heaven. Despite his clothing, she can get her fingers into the muscle, squeeze him good, press his pecs together from the side. His cleavage must rival her own. What a shame she can't see. His fingers dug into her breasts harder, making her cunt ache and she's terrible, melodic tones and all, "We're birds of a feather, you and I~"

"It's the link's influence," Archer lies poorly, so Saber punishes him. Pinches his nipple to watch color fill his cheeks, his lower lip stick out when he groans.

He's across the room before she blinks, sitting with his legs crossed in his throne (legs squeezing awfully tight together) and arms crossed to match.

"Could it be you're the bashful type?" Saber flops onto her stomach, kicking her feet up while she rests her chin in her hands. "Do you need to be courted properly? If you don't dance, then what about flowers?"

"Our Master is surely lost in the archives. I'm going to provide assistance." He says it all without opening his eyes, materializing away with color that hasn't faded from his cheeks.

Saber grins in her hand and kicks her feet in delight.

 

Another life is lost in the Sherwood Forest.

A knight who was a man all along.

 

Hakuno doesn't cry that night. In the privacy of her room, she lapses into a contemplative silence. All attempts to get her to speak fail much to Saber's ire. She never takes being ignored by her Master well. Eventually, she grabs hold of Hakuno’s arm and pulls her to Saber’s makeshift throne.

She snaps out of her stupor when Saber leans into her side to hook their arms together like bosom companions. Saber feels her begin to melt in the core of her soul. Good.

Hakuno exhales loudly.

"Am I doing well?"

"You've grown magnificently, Praetor!"

"Aha..." Hakuno smiles weakly. "You answered so quickly... but I can't answer myself."

"What does your heart say?"

"I dunno."

"Don't listen, just speak."

"No, I, I don't know!" Hakuno stands up, head whipping side to side, hair thrashing in the air. Saber feels the first embers of anger in her body, how Hakuno burns through their link. "After everything, in the end, Dan smiled! He was full of hope even though my actions took his life. He wanted me to find meaning in my battles, believe in my purpose, my wish-- But how I can live a life without regret if I don't know what I shouldn't regret! I have my name and that's all, I. I'm not Suzuki from Class 2-E obsessed with idols and sweetbreads, who’s afraid of clowns, whose friends bullied her onto the tennis team. I don't even have the most cotton candy of ideas about myself!"

Saber catches Archer's eye from where he sits away from the proceedings. His expression unreadable, she sits in shared silence with him.

"All I am is a name and my fear of death. Compared to the other Masters... Compared to this War..." Hakuno runs out of steam, her uncertainty like a boat threatening to capsize in the river of Saber's soul.

Saber won't coddle her.

"If you had no willpower you would have died in front of that altar." But she called out to Saber. Burning bright like a star. And like a moth, Saber was hypnotized. _It's okay if I'm in pain._ Hakuno watches her, expression kept blank with effort, not slack like the girl who was missing something intangible. "That Knight had power and experience. He had the advantage, even if he and his Servant only saw eye to eye in his final moments. But you were willful, Hakuno Kishinami. You are not a soldier or a tactician. You are yourself and you chose to protect that self."

Saber smirks.

"What good is 'Hakuno Kishinami?' Fool. You already blindly hold your answer."

_But how I can live a life without regret if I don't know what I shouldn't regret!_

The truth? It's impossible to live without regrets. Saber knows all too well. Empty love and hollow promises followed her to her self-made grave. But she would never denounce that life. It was hers.

"When you hold your answer proudly announce it from your gut. Proclaim it loudly and clearly. I will listen."

Hakuno's expression softens, her head tilting while her fingers entangled with one another.

"You said names are power."

"Yes."

"You still won't tell me your name."

"You're still too weak."

Saber watches Hakuno's non-reaction when Hakuno shakes her head, asking herself why she bothered but Saber is pleased when she returns to her spot, gives Saber space to hook their arms together.

They drift off into sleep pressed warmly into each other's sides.

 

_..._

_Even in my wildest dreams, I don't know who I am. Maybe that's always been true. What's my wish? It's not something a supercomputer could grant me. Who am I? If I don't know, how could I ask someone else? Wouldn't they just tell me who they think I am? Maybe even, who I should be, who they want me to be._

_It's not good enough for a wish._

_That's one of the few things I know._

_I've killed two people in this War._

_If I survive this next week, it'll be three._

_Why did I sign up for this? What did I think was so worthwhile I'd kill someone for it? My role in this War, I feel like I'm being disingenuous. All I'm trying to do is not die. Saber said I must have meaning if I wasn't willing to give up..._

_But is that so different from fear?_

_Where is the line or is it... I'm too scared to draw that line._

_Don't listen? Just speak?_

_..._

_I'm angry with Saber._

_..._

_I want Saber to proud of me._

_..._

_I don't want to die._

_I want to give myself permission to figure out who I am. To figure out my lost memories and my wish. I don't want to think if it's wrong or right. Everyone has their reasons. I can judge them but they'll judge me as well. I don't want to worry about them._

_..._

_I want Saber to trust me. I want to find out what happened to Archer. I want to live on._

_..._

_I want Hakuno Kishinami to do what she wants!_

 

Something didn't belong. In their carefully secured private room, Saber finds a Servant she doesn't know. In less than an instant, she's shielding Hakuno with the handle of her blade gripped tightly in her hands. Archer's presence joins her at the right, dual wielding his blades.

The unknown Servant is enshrined in golden armor and his pupils slit sharp and serpentine.

Archer says, "H-Hold on!" just before Saber can make her first move, just before Hakuno gasps behind them,

"Gilgamesh?!"

Wait.

"Praetor?" Saber doesn't take her eyes off him. "Why do you sound so familiar with him?" A terrible feeling creeps up her spine.

"If that wasn't a dream then... Oh no." Hakuno's forehead makes contact with Saber's shoulder. Why is she her most endearing in times of danger? Why does Saber feel like betrayal is only one plot beat away?

"Fuhahahaha. Your Master woke me from my slumber but I have allowed her to pay repentance for her actions."

"Master," Archer says tightly.

Saber can feel him flooding fear dressed as anger in her soul.

"She has nothing to give you," Saber finally bites out.

"Red Saber. That blade might as well be a cut of grass, you are but a field mouse to me." Gilgamesh finally uncrosses his arms, his smile smug. Saber's hackles raise in a fury but Archer's hand catches her shoulder.

"Are you insane?" he hisses. Jerks her back.

 _WHY ARE YOU STOPPING ME,_ Saber wills at him and watches his face pinch tight.

"Your contractor looked upon me without permission, spoke to me without permission. How fortunate that I was bored. She will provide me with entertainment until I am suitably satisfied."

Hakuno quietly confirms his words.

Saber's temper reaches tea whistling rage.

"THERE CAN'T BE THREE OF US."

"Is that what you're yelling about?!"

 

It was, in fact, what Saber was yelling about.

 

The lack of complaint from her Master's tongue didn't escape Saber's notice. What an infuriating confirmation that Gilgamesh had gotten his way. A third Servant. Saber finds a good Master, one who tries so hard, and is so _cute,_ and Saber only loved to share when she was willing. This was not one of those moments. 

Archer chastises her for her reaction, that her selfish pride is what she cares most about, not their safety when Saber lets Archer in on a little secret.

"He wasn't going to attack us."

"How do you know?"

"Nobility knows their own."

Archer stares. _Are you kidding me?_

"Are you an idiot?"

"Hmph! A grand entrance, a dramatic introduction - he plays a room well! Praetor won't tell me what they discussed but she's serious about him sticking around. If he wants to be self-serving I will tolerate him. But if he tries to monopolize Praetor he won't live to see the second Act."

Saber shakes her head and turns dramatically. Archer's disbelief rolls through her body and out of his own mouth with a drawn-out sigh.

"You're accepting this too easily."

"You're the odd one!" Saber swings back around. "What was that back there? Do you know him? How?" Saber frowns. "You shouldn't remember, none of us can."

Archer gives his best impression of a man who isn't lying, tacking on a glare for good measure. Saber thinks he should realize by now their soul bond is exposing him time and time again when his all too rigid body language isn't.

"He's infamous. The world's oldest recorded Hero." Archer sounds pained as he explains. "The books in the library are for more than decoration, I hope you realize. Take a minute to learn something outside of your region."

Saber rolls her eyes unimpressed.

"When I want to hear more about Japanese ghost stories, I'll happily give you my ear."

"What?"

"I see you with Praetor, you know her food and drink well. Like a comfort." Saber peers at him curiously. "You seem awfully young for a spirit from Japan. You're definitely not an oni."

Archer snorts.

"Worry about your own identity being exposed, Hakuno Kishinami's 'star.'"

"Umu! I wear that title with pride."

 _I was being facetious._ Archer's response drifts through her mind. 

"There is one concern I have."

"Finally," Archer says.

"He is not linked to me but I feel him like a phantom limb or fruit hanging from my branch. Praetor cannot support him."

Archer tells her.

"You? Ah! Awa, it must be your youth that ties us to you!"

"God, would you shut up."

 

Gilgamesh has made no qualms about being out in the open as he pleased. Saber admires him for his beautifully cruel features and indulgent personality but won't hesitate to crush him in the blink of an eye if he gets in her way.

"In between you and Master, right? Does your jealousy run as deep as your gluttony?"

Archer stands behind her with his arms crossed. The Arena had been an especially lethal death trap today. That strange girl and her double who invited her _friend_. Saber is not too proud to admit they were in over their heads before they escaped.

In front of the shoe lockers, Saber and Archer argue hidden in plain sight in front of the other Masters and NPCs.

"You're awfully brazen for a bowman! Go read those books you're so fond of."

"You can't ignore me. Do you think it's any easier for me to ignore you? You're so loud, it's a miracle I can sleep."

"You should feel privileged to be so close to me! Few can ever claim the same."

"Cut the act."

Saber bristles, disturbed when she feels a cold wall flung up at her.

"Normally concern for our Master exists, but it's drowned out by the insecurity you keep broadcasting. Get over it. You're her sword, her shield, she's not going to pick anyone but you."

Saber's mouth forms a thin line.

"Then I'll say the same to you, cut the act. I wear many masks but I am no fool. Umu. You care for our Master, you feel indebted to me for keeping our Master safe. You're helplessly loyal. No matter how coldly you serve, you still serve and give yourself away. _Fool_. I see right through you, you may have lost your beating heart in your first life but your bleeding heart never died."

Like two sentries guarding their own hearts, neither speak or move, staring at the rawest parts of each other.

Archer is the first to leave.

 

Saber thinks of her golden theater.

The great locks on the doors that kept her audience loyal and attentive.

Maybe she was tired of being locked away deep inside herself, by herself.

 

Her Master stands in her private room distraught.

Saber recounts the series of events to Archer. The sudden theft and loss of Hakuno's name. He's as gobsmacked as she was,

"The monumental day a Berserker would have been preferred over a Caster."

Saber laughs without humor.

"Praetor." Saber calls. Every time she tries to speak her name, Hakuno cannot hear it, it becomes lost between Saber's lips and Hakuno's ears. Saber is not adept at magecraft. Saber's resistance to the divine is tragically low. Though charismatic and full of vigor, she was only ever a man in her past, not a god, only made a myth through the passage of time, infamous enough in humanity’s consciousness she became chained to the Throne. 

Archer dabbles in magecraft, oddly proficient for his Class. However he's nowhere near the limits of a Caster.

Gilgamesh apparently has no Class as he can be easily summoned in several Classes which is disturbing to think about but instead of being any form of an aid he's already said he won't lift a single finger.

Sitting in his own makeshift throne, much grander than Saber's (and of course Archer's), he's simply observing the scene.

God or Man, Saber is not above killing him in his sleep.

(It wouldn't be the first time.)

"Praetor, speak! Ground yourself with words."

Hakuno shivers. Shivers like her adrenaline hasn't worn off. Like there's too much feeling and too little space in her body for her brain to process it.

For the first time, Archer is the one to reach for her. Before Saber can move and Archer can hide away his care, Hakuno steps back clutching her head, leaving his hand hanging mid-air. All too quickly he brings it back down.

"Stop! I don't know how to fix this!"

Saber feels Archer match her in her soul, a distraught wave threatening to drown them both. Saber has seen Hakuno scared before. Hurt. Heartbroken and desperate. But never without hope. She's like a damp match in a dark cave - it hurts Saber to see her like this.

"So your memory has been tampered with." Gilgamesh's voice cuts cooly through the room. "The only thing that has been stolen is your time, their curse has merely rattled your thoughts. You are not prone to deep depths, hence the immediate effect."

Saber scowls thunderously.

Hakuno walks in front of her, fist closed at her sides.

"But my name is gone. Without my name, I can't advance in this War. Without my name I--"

Gilgamesh cuts her off with the confidence she will not talk over him. She doesn't.

"You forgot your name? Who cares, Mongrel." He leaned his cheek against his fist. "I have not once addressed you as such. And yet, you knew who I was speaking to. Your materials still work. You can freely go where you please. I am giving you a gift when I explain this. It doesn't change anything."

Saber understands. On one hand, technically, her Master is not barred from continuing to battle and move to the next week. But Saber can't agree. She was her most powerful when her name was spoken. When she was seen. Hasn't she always told Hakuno that names are power?

"As a Servant, how can you say that?" Saber scoffs. "Our names mean everything. You brazenly appeared with your name and legend exposed. It reeks of hypocrisy."

"My story is public knowledge, I will grant you that," Gilgamesh smirks. "I appear openly because if there is a worthwhile challenger I will welcome them. However, this War is sorely lacking. Instead, we'll focus on another truth."

Gilgamesh points at Hakuno.

"An Amnesiac. Distilled down to your barest essence. There are no perceptions of you, no history built underneath your feet. It is a great boon, Contractor. If you are not a fool you will use it."

Saber stands by Hakuno's side, "This is nonsense."

"No," Archer speaks up from behind them. "He's right."

_What?_

"Master, you may feel like you have nothing, no home or family to call your own. But the lack of history means there are no chains around your heart or brain. There is nothing to compare to, effectively nothing to stop you but your own base instincts."

"That's right," Gilgamesh speaks with obvious pleasure. Pleasure in being right, in being proven right in front of the group. Saber burns hotly. "The choices you make once you leave this room will reveal your truest self, take pride in them."

 _I can't believe I'm doing this,_ Archer sighs in the back of Saber's mind and she watches him with the same sentiment.

"Words will always be present. True. But actions are what lead to those words. Actions are what make those words memorable. Actions are what define you."

A black pit of tar, heavy and ugly, amasses in Saber's stomach when she sees the transformation on her face. They're guiding her. Influencing her right in front of Saber's eyes.

_What am I doing? Why can't I speak?_

It hurts. Not dramatic like balls of flame falling from the sky. Painful and real, like a series of nails splitting into the coffin she never had.

"I... I understand. I get it." Hakuno shakes with what's quickly becoming a new resolve. "It's true, the only one stopping me is myself and not believing in my own abilities. But there's something I can't agree on. And Saber will back me up!"

Hakuno grabs both of Saber's hands in her own and Saber forgets how to breathe. Her eyes are shining, like clusters of stars. Awaaaa!

"I'm going to get my name back no matter what! It's the one thing that's mine and mine alone, I'll selfishly covet it until my own heart stops beating! Even if I don't need it... I'm still proud of it."

Saber shouts with no concern for anyone's ears.

"Praetor! Let's live selfishly and passionately all the way to the end!"

Saber squeezes her tight and Hakuno laughs until she wheezes.

"Saber! Let go of her, she can't breathe!" Archer chastises, then startles when Saber pulls him in too, encouraging his long limbs to wrap around them both.

"My joy and love, it's bursting out of me like the sun. Umu, share this moment with me."

Gilgamesh makes a disgusted noise from his throne.

"Do that somewhere else."

Saber laughs in delight. In her soul, she feels her Master's warm essence, Archer's hot and cold affection. And hidden under the waves a new speckle of amusement, like a stray seed blown in from the wind.

 

"I'm going off to meet Rin," Hakuno says tiredly. She's just finished her skill building exercise with Saber at the chapel. They had argued about the balance of Saber's recent turn in speed and strength. Her magic stat lies as flat as ever. Good, Saber said. It was a waste.

Now though, Saber can see she needs a break. The joys of their bond mean Saber can sense if Hakuno will need her, will hear the split second before Hakuno even calls for her. Saber has no qualms leaving her to see Rin, a girl who claims they're nothing but competitors (yeah, sure.).

Saber's just entered the private room when she hears a steel on steel commotion before she sees it. Archer at the center facing Gilgamesh in a far off corner.

"What is that?" Gilgamesh hisses, his eyes on the weapons Archer is holding.

"Their likeness must be impressive for you to favor them with such disdain."

He's smirking like an absolute bastard and Nero quietly settles in for the show.

"A forgery committed by a fraud."

"A forgery... They are art, aren't they?"

"But will your imitation chip the real article, there's only one way to find out." Gilgamesh activates his glowing portals to summon two handles for him to pull. They're identical to the blades Archer holds. At least, until Saber sees the shimmer of their signature, magic more refined. And when they clash, Saber can see the raw form of Archer's blades clearly.

He's mentioned his forge, it explains his blades along with his bow.

For all she enjoys being the star, Saber also enjoys the spectator's role, loves to be entertained almost as much as being followed. It helps distract from the slow building headache she's had all day. In truth, she’s almost never without a headache, usually can ignore it until the pain pulls taunt in the back of her head. She's steadily approaching that point, takes joy in the fact they're not trying to kill one another or she'd have to intervene for her own safety. A battle of senseless pride as they whip around one another, Saber sits, cheering and criticizing them in equal measure.

It's all well and good until Gilgamesh smirks, sends Archer careening towards Saber with a hard blow. Saber grabs him without missing a beat, steals Archer’s momentum to flip him and pin him to the floor. His fabulous chest heaves underneath her.

"Umu. My point, I win!"

"What?"

"Let's play another game. Golden King, I acquired a deck of cards."

Archer says not to deal him into any games.

When Hakuno returns she finds the three of them sitting on the floor, two opens bottles of wine, Saber throwing a glorious fit.

"She has a terrible poker face," Archer says to Hakuno while Gilgamesh laughs behind his fist at Saber's outrage over her fourth loss.

"Ah! This hasn't helped my headache at all!" Not relaxing in the slightest. Saber feels Hakuno's eyes on her and tries desperately to ignore the worry through their link. Don't, Master. Stop looking at her like that. It distracts her from Gilgamesh's open stare. How his red eyes burn through her.

Archer manages to hassle their Master away, "You need to sleep." And then he's walking her over to Saber's corner of her room (as he should). Saber's pride intact, she gathers the cards she tossed into the air while Gilgamesh hums.

His hand sweeps under her jaw before she can blink, and then he's kissing her, tongue dipping into her mouth with a dart and her body screams at her to chase it, grab at him with her teeth and suck the saliva out of his mouth, his mana old and sharp on her tongue, her circuits greedily drink him in. His thumb presses into her jaw to tip her head back, hard pressure on her lips, his tongue follows the groove of her own. They slide against one another, mouths hot and wet, and Saber wants to drink him in even when breathing through her nose proves difficult.

They part with a string of spit between their lips. Saber's headache downgrades to a mere ache in her temples. Gilgamesh's tongue runs over the top corner of his mouth, pushing out his lip and Saber is entranced.

Gilgamesh smirks.

"Not bad little mouse."

Archer is frosty behind them.

"Are you done?"

His arms crossed, Saber peers over her shoulder past him to see Hakuno already sleep, tucked under pieces of red fabric.

"Do you feel left out?" Saber asks with no innocent intentions.

"No." Archer lies.

Saber doesn't need their link to see it.

 

They close the book shut on Nursery Rhyme.

As for Alice?

It's an odd feeling, exorcising a ghost.

 

_Even on the moon I can't escape my luck with women._

_..haaaaaaaaah._

_At least Saber wasn't forced to save another Servant with a command seal. She'd lose what little sanity she has left. And it's crowded enough with that damn King. But._

_Rin Tohsaka._

_Do you know what you're doing Master?_

_Probably not._

_You did stick your neck out for me after all._

_You haven't learned._

_Or maybe you have and that's the most horrifying part about this._

 

"To put some perspective on the matter, holding any job in the world but still being a cannibal makes you pretty terrifying."

"Agreed." Saber lulls her head from her own shoulder to Hakuno's. Archer stands in front of them, giving them a wide berth. Saber has forgiven her Praetor after witnessing her conversation with Rin in the nurse's office. As much to do with forgiveness as wanting to selfishly be near her anyway.

"I feel like I summoned her myself." Hakuno looks miserably up at the ceiling.

A fear of clowns. Well, Saber reasons, if she survives this, she'll never have to be afraid of them again. She relays the good news to Hakuno who just groans and rests her head on Saber's head.

Saber grins and soaks her up.

 

In all honesty, there are worse allies to have.

Saber would know. From birth, her family was her enemy. From her first political move, the Senate was her enemy. Her greed had led her to shine down on the people instead, use them as a distant crutch instead.

Love me, she cried but even then she didn't mean it.

It'd meant she had to love them back. But she couldn't. She could love flowers. Paintings. Poetry. Ballads. Beautiful people like beautiful things. She couldn't love her own mother. Her own wife. She burned and she ached and she filled herself up with indulgences until her soul was bloated from greed, from excess.

Her dead life as a boy, she told Archer.

Why won't you tell me your name, Hakuno asked.

What was the point?

Wasn't it better this way?

Wasn't this happiness enough?

In the greediest pit of her heart, she hears herself whisper.

_"No."_

 

"A vampire? But he wasn't one in his old days. Vampires don't exist," Hakuno says but her voice falters towards the end. _Vampires don't exist but here I am on the moon in a magical War._ Saber drinks up her expression and lets Archer handle the rest.

"Yes. It's true he was a human man when he died. But it's also true that Lancer is a vampire. These two truths shouldn't coordinate but they do. The Throne of Heroes is where concepts of Servants sleep, only made into reality when they're summoned into War."

"But how did he become Dracula? Isn't that a myth?"

Archer tsks. "As easy as it would be to blame the Throne, it's only crime is housing the myth that became reality. Stories about Vlad the Impaler circulated throughout history and because more and more people believed it, Dracula was born. This Servant, however..."

Archer looks at Saber after a moment's pause. Holds out a hand for her to fill in his missing words.

Saber picks up the conversation without batting an eye.

"Concepts can be planted from any seed. The seed's youth before its first sprouts. From the seed's first stalk to the first fruit that it produced, even the first fruit that dropped and rot. From their birth to that point, that is all they have ever been. Their paths diverge. They can never become the person that follows."

"But this Dracula still has a sense of... purpose, at least," Hakuno says. Brows knit tight together. "Even if I did know the time he'd... been born from it won't make me understand how he became twisted into this Lancer."

"Because he chose to." Gilgamesh's voice rings out when he reappears in front of them.

Saber blinks, head tilting up. She never knows where he goes. There's a scroll tucked in his hand but he's spirited it away as soon as he opens his hand.

"Under the veil of madness, he is still a man. A man born with the freedom of choice. Why would he choose to? Ask him, Mongrel. With any luck, his answer will be most amusing."

Archer snipes, "Yes, Master. Bring him for tea. That will solve everything."

Saber shakes her head and doesn't warn Archer when she sees Gilgamesh smirk. He snaps his fingers and dozens of throws fall on top of Archer in a heap.

"You look bored, Archer. Spread them out on the floor. Idle hands, as they say."

Archer quietly seethes under the blankets and Saber rolls from her back to her stomach, feet kicking in quiet excitement.

"They look soft, I want to lounge on them!"

"Hmph." _You have good taste with material goods, as always_. Saber blinks as the thought moves through her mind loudly and clearly. "That will depend on how they're arranged."

"A slumber party," Hakuno says hopefully. Completely fixating on her Servants getting along and not the tragic battle to come. Saber wraps her arms around her waist and pushes her nose into her skirt. "Ah--! Saber, hey, that tickles!"

Despite his grumbling, Archer is quick to set them up. Saber slots the two of them into the middle. Gilgamesh at Saber's side, sipping on wine and resting with his eyes closed. Archer is a stiff board on Hakuno's left until he feels what Saber feels, what all four of them feel. A warm sense of belonging nurtured not only from their circuits but their time together. It would be easy to feel threatened, Saber wants to be cared for by Hakuno best but in their pile of blankets, Saber feels them all.

Her Master. Praetor's limitless energy that flexes and adapts, that screams out when she's hurt, that coddles Saber's ribs when she's happy and proud.

Archer is fiery and flickering. Cold chills in her spine that melt and stick like syrup when he stops hiding, when he feels indebted to her, when he wants to fight her as much as protect her.

Gilgamesh is a recent addition, a strange addition. Old and sharp like citrus, his fangs prick her when he lashes out displeased. But that sweetness from Archer is present too, his interest thick like honey, he coats her organs as much to soothe her as to possess her.

She can only imagine what her mana feels like. How she clutches hold at them. How she's hurt them. How she's pushed and pulled them away, a confusing flurry of energy that would leave them with their own headaches.

They're fighting soon.

Hakuno chooses her.

Hakuno always chooses her.

_Hakuno Kishinami's star._

The way she cares for Saber is not the way she cares for Archer or Gilgamesh. It is a humbling revelation for a selfish tyrant, who always pushes for excess. The Emperor could not fathom tolerating such a thing.

Saber feels a piece of her heart slot in place.

A hole she never knew slowly being filled.

She falls asleep wrapped in all of them, in blankets smelling of old worlds, and in her theater, she sings.

 

A parasitic zealot.

A parasitic clown.

In the end, the only ones they couldn't consume were each other.

 

In her soul, Hakuno Kishinami is screaming, wailing, terror ringing Saber's ears worse than church bells. But then the Servant's blow finishes, from contact to end, and there's no more screaming, an eerie silence, a sea without crashing waves or birds singing above. Saber's circuits are no longer taking in her Praetor's mana. Their connection is cut. Despite the blow that surely meant death, it is that pain that makes Saber weep in her throat.

They escape Julius.

They meet up with Rin.

They make a plan. 

 

Saber hated to be doubted. Her Master who once couldn't put one pigment of emotion into her face has gotten entirely too honest, her eyes and mouth telegraphing everything about her. The face that Saber liked best, her starry-eyed girl who would do battle with any unknown foe - she is missing and that's all Saber wants to see.

Her pain is present when she runs. Her head aches with the weight of a hammer swinging over and over.

They set up the system as Rin orders through their link. Hakuno's worry is unbearable, Saber snaps.

"Praetor. Wipe that look off your face, it's positively chafing! I hate it!"

"I hate not knowing how you really feel, Saber!"

Hakuno grabs Saber's hand, crushing her fingers together. "You almost died and you won't tell me, but at least I could feel it, even the barest inkling."

Saber huffs. "I am not dying." She's not lying. In a day or two with no change, she will be but not right now. "Do you trust me?"

Hakuno nods.

"I will not leave your side until the end. Our circuits can be separated but our bond cannot be broken. Praetor, if I am a star then you are mine! Together we'll twinkle in the sky, forming constellations and stories others can only dream about. Let's finish here."

Her speech works.

In her heart of hearts Saber could sob in relief.

When they reestablish their connection, her soul is not empty and silent as space. But her mana is low, too low, her body shudders and her head pulses. Hakuno can't provide what she needs.

(Saber wishes. Darling girl. She would be adorable. They would worship one another. But this isn't the time. She'd be too worried. Saber couldn't enjoy her taste. Maybe just once. Maybe one time before the end.

Saber is hopeless when it comes to pretty girls.

Her Master just keeps shining on more brighter and feminine than before.

Sigh.)

 

Saber sends her Master to the library and commissary and chapel. She's going to rest, it will be alright, Praetor. Saber will be as good as new, she promises.

Hakuno, bless her, has no idea what she's talking about.

In spite of her pain, she's starving and anticipating a great deal of mana when she returns to their private room. Her plan has already gone awry when she sees Archer, paler than usual, already exhausted where he sits. When Saber's circuits were cut, it meant Archer stopped receiving the residual flow from Saber. Oh. _Oh._

Gods. How unlucky could she be?

"Archer. Now is a terrible time to stick to your guns."

She wants to be angry but even she can't help but tease. He must have been expecting her because he makes room for her in his throne and waits for her to slot into place. He's warm. She's exhausted and hungry and weakly pawing at him before she can stop herself.

"I know what I said but would you believe me if I said I regret it now?"

Saber buries into his side.

"It figures. You're only sweet when I can't pounce you. I should have realized you were a degree too close to avoid a similar fate."

"Saber."

"I'm hungry," she whines.

"Saber, _what are you doing with your hands at least ask me first._ "

Saber groans and moves her hands away from his thighs.

Archer's next chastising comment dies in his throat when Gilgamesh's shadow falls over them. He looks far more amused than he should. Saber hates how attractive he makes it look.

"What a pitiful sight. Aren't you a burdensome duo for your Master."

As Archer likes to remind her, Saber is a being without shame. She's quick to shakily force herself to her feet and put her hands on her hips.

"Service me and I will happily return the favor."

Archer sighs.

"I should have expected this."

"Don't pretend you weren't planning on it, Archer." Gilgamesh exposes him casually, leaning down with crossed arms to meet Saber in the eye. "In exchange for my mana, give me your fist."

"Umu! It's done." Saber grins before she's picked up by Gilgamesh one-handed, placed into Archer's lap and Archer's arms wrap around her waist immediately. His hold second nature, Archer asks,

"What are you planning?"

Gilgamesh rolls his neck once before waving one bare hand in the air. Watching him curiously, both red servants gasp when he wiggles his fingers and sparks pop off the tips. Saber's mouth waters, her body lunging forward and Archer only stops himself by holding Saber back.

"That's--"

"Magic?!"

Saber's making grabby hands at him before she can help it, "No, come here, I want--!"

Gilgamesh brings his hand to her mouth and tells her to open. More obedient than she can ever remember being she does and is greeted with the sharp tang of his magic on her tongue, popping off into the roof of her mouth and her circuits spark to life.

She hums, licking and sucking on his fingers eagerly while Archer tries and fails not to squirm underneath her.

"Enjoy the quiet while you can, you'll be screaming soon enough," Gilgamesh smirks. Heat building in his own skin before he takes his fingers back, ignores Saber's whine and kneels, strokes up her thighs before ripping a hole in her leggings, his wet tingling fingers stroking her labia before sliding between her lips. Saber bucks with a loud shout and is clawing at Archer's legs, her own legs spreading wide when his fingers sink into her wet, two then three, curled and crooking into her walls, his palm hits her clit with each thrust. He works her high and fast, his mana swelling inside her just like her orgasm.

Rarely is Saber coherent when receiving, cries high pitched and obscene, Gilgamesh is purring in front of her when he leans in and sucks her clit into his mouth, his fingers working into her cunt double time when she comes, squeezing around his fingers. His magic restores the ripples and gaps left by her lack of connection with Hakuno.

Saber's thighs don’t stop shaking even after Gilgamesh’s fingers slipout. She feels Archer's face pressed hotly into her neck, how hard his cock is beneath her.

She laughs. Twists and kisses Archer after pulling his head back by his hair. He doesn't resist her, feverish and worked up. Gilgamesh chuckles to himself, presses his slick covered fingers to Archer's cheek and Archer flushes hard when he rubs Saber’s come down his cheek to his neck.

Saber busies herself with Archer’s lower lip, nipping to tease and laughs loudly when Gilgamesh pushes his way in, sucking a hot mark on Archer's throat.

"Wait," Archer croaks. "I thought you two were going to--"

"And ignore the hungry look on your face? You play the tease well, I'll give you that."

"You're hungry, aren't you, Archer?" Saber grins, enjoying the passing of the reins between Gilgamesh and herself. "Or you would have left."

Archer wants to fume, she feels it in her soul, but his blush only deepens. His hold on her hasn't loosened up one bit. He’s so obvious about what he wants, abysmal at letting himself have it.

"Gilgamesh won't mind if I save the best for last, why don't we play with you first?"

"Hoh, an excellent idea. You've been coasting on the bare minimum for some time." Gilgamesh leans in, surrounding Archer on the opposite side. Purrs, "Why don't we fill you up. You should be grateful, to be so eagerly attended to. Isn't that right, Saber?"

Saber tilts Archer's chin up and his pupils dilate, giving himself away.

"Yes," Archer finally whispers, he attempts to sound utterly miserable but all he sounds is hungry, ravenous. 

When Hakuno returns and the fake starlight fills her room, all her Servants retain a faint glow. She hardly notices, rushing over to Saber and Saber is happily pulling Hakuno into a dance, showing off her restored body and image.

In her soul Archer’s embarrassment hides behind a valley of Gilgamesh’s smugness and she sends a wink to the two of them.

Her Praetor hugs her tight and Saber is, in a way she'll never understand, home.

 

"I'm okay now," Hakuno tells Rin Tohsaka. A confidence brimming in her eyes that makes Saber want to build a stage just for her. To show off her Master who's learned to accept her existence as it is.

To accept herself.

I exist, therefore I am.

It was enough for Saber

Now it was enough for Hakuno.

To the ghost who captivated Saber's heart, she could only be proud.

 

The tea set from Taiga is a luxurious gift, if only because it reveals Archer's most hidden qualities.

"A homemaker. Whose wife were you, Archer?" Saber asks over cups of steaming tea and Archer ignores her completely.

Saber is feeling her best, doesn't take it personally.

She has big plans.

And an Assassin to foil.

 

It's been a long time since she stepped foot in her Theater. Her heart hammers. Not from Assassin's too cool gaze looking for a way to tear himself out of her reality marble but from her Praetor's silence.

She parries his blows. Lets herself be driven to fantastical heights even he cannot predict. The Theater where she was the lone star, who provided her own flowers, who provided her own captive audience, in this Theater Hakuno speaks.

Out loud: "Breakthrough his guard, Saber!"

And in her heart: _Finally it's you and me on the same stage._

Saber doesn't cry.

But it's a close call.

 

"Did you really think I would dislike you? That I would cancel our contract?"

Hearing her say it out loud is almost unbearable. But Nero has no regrets. At least, none in this life.

"I care not what others think of me, Praetor... but you are different! I am not easily wounded but you hold a power I did not expect. A power over my own heart. I've never had this feeling. I didn't want to lose it."

"Even though I'm a ghost?"

"I'm a spirit too. Does it matter all that much?"

Hakuno smiles.

"I guess not."

"Hmph."

"Nero."

"Yes?"

"It just felt nice to say your name."

"A-Awawawa! You can't do that to me, you're always so cute when I'm not prepared!"

 

_Hakuno Kishinami..._

_Not human but a fragment of a human, not an amnesiac but a clone._

_How entertaining._

_The Moon Cell seems to be at odds with what to do with her. Unable to kill her. Allowing her three Servants._

_Hmm._

_I look forward to the end._

_Fuhaha._

**Author's Note:**

> Hello, it took the upcoming next round of iibb to get my ass in gear and finally post this up. ffff. This is my first completed longfic in a very long time and I'm proud of it, even if there are things I still want to change/add to it. I debated writing in a few more scenes I had originally planned but couldn't get to before my deadline. Ended up deciding against it. Went back through my prose but otherwise, I liked the feeling of keeping it in a time capsule, especially to compare to whatever new project I undertake in the 2019 round. 
> 
> In this fic: follows Saber route but is not 100% canon compliant. I put my queer hands all over the game mechanics and adjusted them to my tastes. All characterization takes fond notes from canon but also leans heavily into my preferred renditions of them. Gilgamesh is here because I'm ot3: crimson and gold and you can't stop me. 
> 
> Hope you enjoy o/


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